Delusions of Life
by Universe7Traveler
Summary: Kyle died. Simple as that. Sure he missed Rhea, but he could not really go and see her again now can her? Especially not after being reborn into a different world. The universe is mixed up and right now, he could care less. He is a girl now, there is magic, and WW2 is happening. The worst of it all is that right in the middle- is him.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: We do not own Harry Potter.**

 **Summery: Crack. Romance. Adventure. Cake. Dresses. What do all of those have in common? Yeah, I don't know either, you can tell me if you ever find out. Kyle died, and death is not really what he thought it would be. This trip was not all it cracked up to be and his sanity decided to take a vacation without him along the way; But this trip was turning out to be even more surreal and strange than he ever thought it could be. Maybe that weird kid will be willing to help him get things right in this world.**

 **Warning: Non-canon. Alternate universe. Language. Possible triggers. Some Dumbledore Bashing. Death.**

 **This is our first story, so please tell us how we are doing. We think this will be T though it might change to an M later if we feel like it is necessary. This will be a slow and long story.**

"Kyle!" a young feminine voice playfully yelled. "Wait up!" A young man ran ahead, in front of the woman, huffing a laugh of victory.

"As if, slow-ass!" He started to run faster, toward an inviting ocean. Both of the young adults had dark brown hair and matching bright brown eyes. After looking at the both of them, the only difference seemed to be their gender besides Kyle being slightly larger.

"Showoff!" She yelled even as she sped up herself, determined to beat him.

"I'm only a show off because you can't handle anything~" His voice sang out as he tried to go faster, but not getting much farther ahead.

"Ha! As if." She snarked back with amusement and determination on her face. They raced down into a beach, shouting in victory as they landed on it at the same time.

"I so won!" Kyle shouted in mock superiority, looking at the young lady beside him.

"You wish, Old Man!" The woman huffed loudly, mockingly angry.

"What?!" Kyle pouted at her. "I'm only eighteen! If I am old, then so are you! You're only fourteen minutes younger than me!" He pouted harder and huffed.

"Ah~ But you'll always be older than me~" She smirked, amused.

"Meaning you should respect your damn elders. Like now." He huffed and started to take off his shirt and other clothes to show swimming trunks in bright blue. He pulled his curly shoulder length hair back into a ponytail and out of his face.

"Ha! Hypocrite!" Kyle turned to her and stuck out his tongue at her. "You haven't respected an elder a day in your life!" She laughed, slipping off her shoes and shirt revealing her dark blue swimming top.

"Have too!" He looked over his shoulder at her. "Jeez, you would think that you would get these things right, Rhea. Especially since, "Kyle sniffed here, "we have been together since we were conceived." He placed a hand over his heart in mock hurt. "I have respected George plenty of times! And he is over hundreds of years old!"

"George is tree you arrogant prat!"

"So? He is the damn best tree I have ever seen in my life! And how is that arrogant?" Kyle puffed up his cheeks again and crossed his arms across his chest. There was amusement behind his childish antics, but between the two, there was definitely a reason to be upset. George was an amazing tree.

"Ha! You just don't want to admit-"

"Admit that you're so jealous of George and uptight? Sure," interrupted Kyle cheekily. A smirk stretched over his face as he stopped puffing his cheeks and let his arms drop.

"Oooh, that's it!" Rhea exclaimed, charging at her twin with an evil cackle. Kyle squeaked and quickly started to run off toward the water for safety. He laughed as he went to get away from Rhea and jumped into the cooling water. Once in, Kyle immediately went underwater and started to swim off.

Running just behind Kyle she cackled as she dived into the ocean after him, forgetting her slacks were still on. Kyle swam as best he could, happy not for the first time that he was the better swimmer. It was not much, but it was enough to get a bit of a head start away from his twin, who at the moment looked as if she was going to do something...unwanted if she caught up. He remembered the last time he got caught, and it was not something he was willing to repeat.

Swimming faster, Rhea ginned madly at the sight of her brother's urgent movements. So it seemed that he remembered the little...'lesson' they had last time he…displeased her. Looking around, Rhea looked for a way to catch her errant brother, knowing that she would never catch him now that he has a head start and a fair chance. Catching sight of an opening in an old sunken ship, Rhea came up with a devastatingly devious plan. Smirking evilly, Rhea swam to the surface for a quick breath before diving back under; insuring that Kyle was not looking in her direction before heading to the opening of the ship.

Kyle swam for as long as he could underwater before he could no longer hold his breathe. Rhea had him beat in that aspect. He looked around really quickly before heading to the surface, confused.

"Rhea?" He called, looking curiously out and into the water all around him. "She was just behind me. Where did she head off to now?" He whispered to himself. Rhea thought it was funny that he talked to himself sometimes, but he could not help it. He was used to always being with her and talking out his thoughts to someone who would always listen. He gave a huff before taking a gulp of air and diving back down into the water. He spotted something that he immediately knew that Rhea would try to use, a sunken ship. He swam to it as fast as he could, wanting to find where she was and try to turn this against her. Who knows, maybe he could scare her.

Waiting for her prey like the ever patient predator she- sometimes- is, Rhea watched as Kyle warily swam around the ship, coming closer to her hiding spot with each passing second. Stilling herself, Rhea began to tense the closer he came until-

 **BAM**!

She forced a window open, slamming it into the ship's side, and thrust herself out of the small opening, reaching out to grab her sibling with the creepiest expression she could muster. She slowly went back into the window as she saw Kyle flee, basking in the smugness that came from scaring him.

Kyle cried out in the water, losing air fast from the silent yell. He quickly swam away from the window and took cover through a door that was near him, jarring his leg, before he stopped where he was. It could just have been Rhea. Kyle frowned, not liking that he had been scared into a room instead of to the surface of the water or away from the ship. He swam deeper into the ship, where he suspected Rhea had been. Oh, he was so going to pay her back. When he finally reached a room with the silently laughing Rhea, he snuck up behind her and popped her on the shoulder as hard as he could underwater.

Rhea could not help the surprised gasp that escaped her, unwillingly swallowing some salty water. Snapping her mouth shut and clutching her chest Rhea glared at Kyle indignantly, but the sudden need for air quickly diverted her attention. Deciding that the window was the quickest path to oxygen, Rhea maneuvered through the small opening, only to feel her pants catch on something. Thinking it was her annoying brother she glared back only to see her slacks snagged on a rusted screw that pierced through one of her pant legs. Rhea tugged urgently at her leg, the pressure in her chest growing near unbearably with the need for air. Annoyed, she tried to slip off her slacks only for the moist cloth to cling to her flesh. Her lungs began to burn.

Kyle quickly went to help Rhea, startled that she was losing air and stuck in the window that looked a bit small. Kyle hurriedly swam to the window, feeling his lungs burn himself but ignoring it, and pulled her pant leg off of the rusted screw. He gave Rhea a thumbs up when she looked behind her to give him a quick glance. His lungs burned and his vision was going black as he watched her swim out of the window. He turned his head this way and that, confused on where he had come from. There were a few doors, and he had not paid attention to all of the twists and turns he had taken. This was bad.

Kyle felt his mind going hazy with each passing second. He had been holding his breath for what felt like forever already. His hips were too big to fit through the window, he would just end up stuck and it was amazing that Rhea could even fit through it, so he hurriedly swam to a door he thought was the right way. His ponytail got caught in something on his way through the door, and sharply tugged him back and tore out his ponytail when he backtracked a little. Bubbles escaped even more as he yelled in pain. He felt his mind go even faster, desperate for air, and needing it **now**. The problem was, though, that his head was pounding and he could barely feel his fingers and toes anymore. Numbness was spreading fast through his body, and he gasped accidentally as he felt pain blossom behind his eyes. Cold and salty water flooded in before he could close his mouth. His lungs started to fill, and then he was trying to spit or cough the water out of his system. Nothing was working, and he began to panickingly flail around to gain any type of purchase.

He forgot that he was supposed to be searching for a way out and to the surface for air, only that he was hurting and cold. What was happening? His vision started to turn darker and darker until he saw nothing but black. There was no longer sound or the feeling of cold salty water in him. He felt heavy, too heavy to be normal or right. His limbs felt like they were floating lightly, but he could not move them anymore. It all started to feel so foreign, his body was foreign. The feeling of losing his consciousness, slowly, was the only thing he registered. His mind was going completely blank. Then, there was only emptiness.

Kyle suddenly felt alert and remembered everything, but he felt like he was not really there. Where was he? There was nothing here. It was just a void. Was there even a way out of it?

It took him a while to calm down from a slight panic he worked himself into. He looked back on what had happened what he assumed was just minutes ago. He had lost too much air before scaring Rhea, and then he had lost even more without getting any new oxygen during or between. Then he remembered that he had lost consciousness before entering into whatever this void was. Did he die? Was this the afterlife that everyone always talked about? It was so boring, and unnerving. He waited for something to happen. Maybe he was just in a coma. Maybe Rhea had gotten him out of the water and saved his life, and he just was not waking up yet. There were too many maybes but it was all he had to go on. She could be really distressed at the moment without him, and he would hate to be the one to separate the both of them so early.

He lost sense of time before he even started to have any in the void. There was nothing to distract him. Nothing to take his attention off of all that had happened. He was just taking a swim with Rhea like he did everyday for the past couple days. They had been celebrating finally becoming adults as well as graduating from high school. This was actually very sudden. Kyle had kind of been hoping that there would be cake waiting for him when he died, like he had accomplished something. Or maybe that it would be like a second birth, and he would celebrate it like he did his actual birthday, and he would live in a place he could explore and have new adventures.

So much for that hope though. It was just a boring black hole, except a black hole would probably be more interesting than the void. With all the new free time and what felt like days, Kyle retreated to memories that came and went from his mind. Conversations. Hugs. Dancing. Paining. Laughing. Teasing. Eating. Swimming. Anything to distract him. He wondered what it would be like to be a girl instead of a boy. He kind of wanted to wear a dress, or a skirt. It looked like it had been more comfortable than what he had always worn. Maybe if he was in a coma and woke up soon, he could ask Rhea if he could wear one of her dresses. After thinking about it though, he figured that even if they were roughly near the same sizes, he doubted that she had any dresses left. She probably burned all of them. He would not put it past her, especially seeing as she seemed to hate them for some reason. They had all very pretty shades of red or orange, from what he remembered at least.

After ages, the feeling of ages, Kyle digressed slowly. His mind began to go in on itself. He figured that he could also be imagining the void. It could be his imagination after all, maybe induced by a coma or something else. It had to be real, he argued with himself constantly, because all his memories lead up to the void and it was unlikely that he was in a coma as he had never heard of someone describe one like this. All of the recounts of people in comas had said that they at least heard or saw something, like a dream that was bordering on nightmare. This, on the other hand, was nothing. It was literally a void. The senses he had always had were taken away from him harshly.

As more time passed, though time should probably be kept out of the void as it was not actually there, he was starting to doubt anything was real, including his memories. It had been so long without anything. He tried to remember sound. To remember sight. To remember anything. Time felt like nothing to this place, but it felt like an eternity. He was going insane, but was he? _One, two, three,four._..he had stopped looking into his memories and imagination to count out his time, but he eventually forgot what number he was on. So, he tried again. And again. And again. Until he forgot what anything else was like. He always lost count at the same number, but he always forgot what number it was right after he started to count again. He remembered the first time he counted he had gotten up so high that he did not even know how to say the number or remember all of the numbers in order. Did he trust his memory of it though?

It was starting to get to him harder and deeper. He had gotten hysterical every once and a while, but the hysteria was starting to cling to him. It started to take longer and longer for him to talk himself out of panicking. Rhea would come for him. He was just in a coma. It would only be for a bit, and time was not here so it could have just been his mind exaggerating. The longer he was there, however, the more even he could not lie to himself anymore. His mind started to go downhill very fast after he stopped reasoning out things and making excuses. He continued to count to try and get his mind off of it.

There was never an end. He was alone. Alone, alone, alone. _One_. Where was Rhea? He wanted would blame her for his death...Did he die? _Two_. He could still hear his own voice- no that was not right. There was no sound. The silence was deafening. It was too much to take in after ages in it. What was it then? His mind. _Three_. There was too much pressure in the void. He had never been alone this long. It was amazing for only a while before it became too much. _Four_. There was too much time to think. Too much. Too much. Too much. Too much. _Five_. Did he see Dad? What are was he doing here? Did he find his way into the void as well? _Six_. Kyle looked at his dad with nonexistent eyes in fear. His dad was looking at him with such contempt. Why was he looking at him when he did not do anything. _Seven_. He didn't. He wanted his dad to stop hating him. He wanted to tell him that he really did not kill him or mom. He did not know what happened to them.

 _Eight_ …His dad turned away from him and started to go away. He wanted to cry out at his father, try and get him to comfort him. To show him the way out of the void. Suddenly his father was no where in sight.

 _Nine…_ What was that tugging in his chest? Was he finally getting pulled out of here? Slowly his happiness dissipated as the tugging in his chest turned into an icy burn that was unimaginable until that moment. He wanted it to go away, to stop and leave him to the void. He hated the nothingness, was welcome to the pain at first, but now it scorched him.

 _Ten…_ It was taking something that was deeper than anything he had ever known before. Something that was never meant to be taken or even touched. It was unnatural. Beyond unnatural.

 _Eleven…_ It soaked up some of his sanity, clarity and rationality and took it with his soul. It was gone. He felt beyond violated. Beyond any fear or anger or shock. This went much deeper than anything.

 _Twenty-seven…._

What came after that?


	2. Chapter 2

There was only the void for the longest of times. Something felt off and tugged at him within it. Something that went against everything he had ever been happened. He just did not know what it was. There were so many moments of pain after that. A few moments of warmth and safety from some force that was unknown, and one moment of complete confusion. That complete confusion, is what ended the time in the void. At least, that is what he thought. The end of the void was different, the new place so odd. It was different than the eternity in the void. At first it was subtle, but then it was so obvious that it could not be ignored. Names had been lost to the void. Memories had been mixed up and sanity had passed the questioning point. He just remembered that he was. The new sensation was all there was, or had been in a long time besides the hallucinations. Even the hallucinations had left for a while.

Warmth and weightlessness were the first things that were felt for the first time in a while. When it had been felt in the first place, he didn't know. They were followed by something that was beating. Waves of beats washed over him. Warmth and dim lighting- that was barely noticeable- surrounded him. Whatever his name had been, as it was not one of the things the void let him keep, he moved slowly. It was something that had not happened before. At least, that he could remember. Nothing seemed real at the moment. Maybe it was another hallucination. He had those so often, or did. Maybe they were coming back. Some had lasted for ages while others were just glimpses.

It was such a short time in the warmth and listening to the beating before something new happened. Maybe it was a long time. But then, it felt so short. No, it must have been long. That does not seem to be the point though, does it? There was a crushing feeling, as if something was squeezing him. That was the point. It started out uncomfortable before turning into something that started to hurt. He pushed back at the walls that were crushing him, but that seemed to do the opposite than what he really wanted. He wanted the walls to stop crushing him. He was being pushed somewhere, but he did not want to leave the warmth. Was he being pushed back into the void? Please no. There was suddenly a sharp cold that had not been felt since...since? He shivered in a body he was not used to. It was called a body right? He did not cry. That was what one did in something like this, right? There was just shivering and trying to curl up. No void? What were those things wrapped around him? Something was holding him… Were they?

"Es ist ein Mädchen." What was that? It sounded familiar. It almost sounded like… what was the name? There was definitely a name for it.

"Mädchen?" He knew almost what they were talking in, but he could not place the name.

"Ja." That voice sounded sad. Was that the word? "Was ist ihr Name?" It did have a name, didn't it?

"Name? …..Sie heißt….Emil...Nimitz…" The words were breathy and shallow.

"Frau? Frau Nimitz! "

"Schatz? Komm, Schatz. Bitte öffnen Sie Ihre Augen. Jemand Tun Sie etwas! _Jemand Tun Sie etwas!_ " There was suddenly so much happening. He could feel. Hear. Smell. Taste. Almost see light behind something that was covering his eyes. It was too much to take in after so long in nothing. There was too much stimulation, way too much. He refused to open his eyes. -They were eyes!-He refused to listen anymore.-There were sounds to hear!- He could barely take breathing. In, out. In, out. Feeling. Cold. Squeezing. Hearing. Loud. Loud. Too loud. He lost consciousness soon after.

* * *

It was dim lighting and a soft lullaby that he woke up again to. He did not open his eyes. Did he remember how? He knew that it would overload him. Did he actually know? Just listening was hard enough. Someone stopped the lullaby and came over to him. What was happening? What had been singing?

"Du muss schlafen, Kind. Schlafen." It was too confusing and still too early to think about anything that the person was saying or what it was. He chose to fall back into the blackness, the familiar, before it really started to overwhelm him. But didn't it already overwhelm him?

Waking up at odd hours and sleeping for most for the rest. That was how he spent so much time. He ate. He slept. He ate. He slept. He opened his eyes to bright and colorful things,-So beautiful- and over time he learned to handle it. A young woman was what was taking care of him, if that is what you call it. So, he grew fast-or slow- and watched.

It took him a few years to place the gibberish that he had felt familiar with. It was German, or Deutsch as he had to say it now. He even found out that he was born a girl. Emil Nimitz was what his mother had called him before she had died. What a strange thing to do. Name things. His, or her now, name was really not necessary. It was really not even necessary to know a gender. Both are quite useless. Now, she lived with her aunt, if you could call it that. Her age was five, or at least that was what Tante-aunt- said. Emil did not quite get what was going on until a year ago. It took her so long to figure out that this was going to be her life. November 24th 1926. Her day of birth. It was strange. Why would someone care about the years passing?

"I will be back sometime around Dezember, Sonnenblume. You know how to live. Take care of this house while I am gone." Why would someone take care of a house? It can take care of itself. Tante walked into Emil's room, something put together in the attic of a small house, with her 'fancy' appearance dress. Red lipstick. Long curled Blond hair. She was always going somewhere. The first month that he was with her, when he was just a few months old, she had left her alone for a couple days. The time she left always increased over the years.

"Ja?" Tante stared hard at her. It was the stare that she usually gave her when she threatened to tell everyone that she was an unwanted. Born from another unwanted.

"Ja, Tante." German was still weird on her tongue. She did not need a language for so many years, and now she had to use one suddenly. Tante smiled happily before getting out of the dusty attic and out of the house. Humans were such strange creatures. This one that was in charge of keeping her was so far the weirdest she had seen. Then again, she had only seen four people. Tante, and three other men in uniforms that had come over a year ago. Weird people.

There was something that always kept her entertained though. She forgot if there was a word for it. She really needed to find a name to place with what she did. She found out that _things_ tended to happen that were amazing. When she went without food, it grew in front of her. Not always or often, but enough for her. When she was hit for disobeying, crashes were heard and distracted Tante. Swirls of color and small creatures would float around her all the time -since she was born.

Tante did not know about most of it though. She 'beat it out of her' after she had seen her grow food. It had only happened once, as Emil did not really care to show her anything after that. Somehow the colors and creatures that were always around Emil were never seen by Tante, which meant that she could keep her world to herself. Emil saw so many beautiful things happen from the source that she forgot the name to. All she could remember was that something from her was stolen, and that was also where the mystical things got their beginning from.

When she had been in the void, she got a sense that her being in there and this world was going against everything she ever was. She had what felt like most of her soul taken from her, and a period of urges slammed into her. Those urges were telling her to create. To form and breathe into, but she could do nothing in the void and it had been beyond tearing her apart. Somehow she had dismissed most of those urges, feeling as though they were wrong for her to do. She felt like she should be doing the opposite of creating, but the creatures she saw were talking to her and trying to get her to do things, telling her things.

"Maybe I got the wrong urges," she whispered to herself. It was a habit of talking to herself outloud that she had from somewhere. It could not have been from Tante, as she rarely was even there to speak to her. "I could ignore it for now. Urges can be pushed back," she happily said to the room. She was always distracted by her creatures that whispered things to her, so that she was not bored like she had been in the void. They said she could bring them into the world. She could shape them. Breathe them to life. Anything to life, like how she made food grow.

Some things, though, were not the life-creatures. Some, she knew were hallucinations, and so did her life-creatures. She thought they did at least, who was to know? They came often. Bothered her. Reminded her, or told her, about things that did not happen. That were against what her life-creatures told her. What the colors said. Many of the things her heart seemed to soar to that they talked about, but something told her that it was contradictory.

"Emil." That was the name given to her, she spoke it quietly. She guessed she could go by that. It might be easier. It was stupid to use names. Everything just was, but if everything in this world held a name then it might be easier to actually use her's. At least sometimes. Emil shifted from where she was sitting and started to tug on her medium length brown hair. It was tolerable, but she was still not used to it yet. It was quiet in the attic. Not silent, but very quiet. There were still the whispers around her, but they were faint. Musical to her ears, but still faint.

She put her small hands on the floor and started to focus on them. Something flowed slowly into her hands and into the wood flooring through her fingertips. A feeling of euphoria rushed through her as she felt warmth flowing into a creation. It always happened when she decided to create. To breathe life, as her life-creatures called it. After a couple minutes, Emil lifted her hands up and looked down at a small sapling that had sprouted up three centimeters. She smiled slightly at it before Emil's face went blank.

"Why be happy from something like that?" Her voice was flat and unemotional, and Her intense green eyes were dead. "Such a weird thing," she murmured before looking off ahead of her and getting a glazed look in her eyes. She felt it in whatever was left of her soul to create, to breathe life, but something in her told her that it was unnatural. That she needed to remember death, and to crave death. Every once in a while, she had to question why it made her feel wonderful. Why it was so different from when she was in the void and different from what felt like a fact of existence. This could still be a hallucination. She has had ones before that lasted years. They were never as good as this one, but she supposed that they could be getting better.

'Yew. It is natural. It is the universe. You do not question the existence. The life. You are Life itself.' Emil looked up at a see-through blue wisp. It was shaped like a blue sea slug, as it had told her when she had first met it. She called it Fa. All of her life-creatures called her Yew. Maybe that had been her name before she had lost it to the void.

"Unnatural." Emil looked up at it. Her eyes were still dead, though they were slowly coming back to life. "I am not Life. Something is wrong." Her voice was far away and soft as she looked lost once again. Something was so wrong with this existence, and she did not know why. She did not ever really know what was going on. It was all too new to her, yet familiar. This all felt wrong.

"No, Yew. It is not unnatural. You are life." Emil faded in and out of focus, her thoughts all over the place. There was no focus after a while. _She_ was life. Not her. Emil did not know who _She_ was, but she was sure that she was not life. Something told her so strongly that she was not supposed to create. The things that happened were different, they felt natural- if a bit painful at times. Breathing Life was something so different.

"My, look at the thing. Such a poor creature." There was a voice that popped up above Emil. She just ignored it, not really hearing it to begin with. "Ignoring me? How rude." A harsh shove pushed Emil out of her thoughts. Another hallucination. They were getting so annoying and pushy lately. "Well? Are you going to greet me, young mistress?" Emil looked up at a creature that looked human, but not quite. It had elongated nose that was almost pointed and a slim jaw. It looked to be twice as big as herself.

'Yew, it is not a hallucination this time.' But it was...wasn't it? It always was. Fa should really not make jokes that do not make sense. Fa swirled around her head. It looked so beautiful like that. Small trails of wispy light followed after Fa as it went.

"Guten Morgan, Kreatur." Emil let her flat voice fill the silence and faraway eyes stare deeply into the other beings small eyes. She could not yet bring herself out of her own mind, but she did stop staring at Fa.

"Kreatur? I am no such thing! I am-"

"Eine Kreatur," Emil's absent gaze never broke from the other things. Her voice was soft but broke through the others words easily. The other huffed.

"Fine." It's eyes narrowed. "Since I am Kreatur, then you are Sephtis." Emil did not care. It sounded familiar, Sephtis. More familiar than Yew. She kept her eyes in contact with Kreatur without blinking. Her eyes were half-lidded, and their intense green seemed to glow in the dim attic. Kreatur froze solid for a moment. It seemed to start shaking moments later.

"You _are_ Sephtis." It said it softly, almost just a murmur. Emil did nothing at that, and before too long Kreatur vanished. Hallucinations were always coming. They never made much sense either. They had to be hallucinations, even if Fa said differently. What else could they be? She did nothing after Kreatur left but stare up at the ceiling for hours. Sephtis. That was the first time that she had heard that, and yet it sounded so familiar. Her soul seemed to yearn it, crave it. So strange. It was just a name. The life-creatures called her Yew. Kreatur called her Sephtis. Tante called her Emil. Maybe she could just make her own name up. Maybe Emil Sephtis Nimitz. She sort of liked all of those names. She could not take Yew, though. It seemed like it belonged to someone else. Someone close to her. Who was close to her though?

When the attic was the brightest it was going to get for the rest of the day, Emil heard shouting out in the streets. She took a while before she got up slowly and walked to the only window in her 'room', crushing the small sapling that she had made earlier without too much of a thought. She felt a small cold sweeping through her as she continued on. When she looked out of the window, she watched as soldiers marched in lines down the street. Germany had apparently started a war officially a year ago, or almost a year ago. It was still Oktober, so a few more months and it would be a year.

It was so silly, from what she had heard from Tante. Ayran race and land. Why were they so important? She had learned about a place that was being built for those that do not belong in the 'new' Germany. Tante had talked to her about it in one of her rare moments of being talkative around Emil. It was where all the unwanted go, she had said, like what you are. They round you up, and ship you off somewhere, where you would not bother the 'superior' race. Humans had such weird ways of putting things. It was really not as scary as Tante had tried to make it. They were just words to Emil at the moment, and besides why would she worry about such trivial things?

"Deutschland erwache aus deinem bösen Traum!

Gib fremden Juden in deinem Reich nicht Raum!

 _Wir wollen kämpfen für dein Auferstehn_

 _Arisches Blut soll nicht untergehen!"_

It was strange to hear a language that she was just learning, being shouted down a street. She saw citizens gather around the marching soldiers, singing with smiles on their faces. They were encouraging something that had no right to be there. She could see where they were wanting something like this, out of desperation. Emil knew, from what Tante had told her, that Germany was torn apart during the Great War. That they had their economy shredded and cities destroyed, but from what Tante was saying, it was not really worth this new reign. She made it sound like they were the best and proud. Like Germany had been the best before the Great War and was going to be on top again. What was the point if it was being led by a radical group? It seemed like it was all about something trivial like pride.

"All diese Heuchler, wir werfen sie hinaus,

Juda entweiche aus unserm deutschen Haus!

 _Ist erst die Scholle gesäubert und rein,_

 _Werden wir einig und glöcklich sein!"_

Nazi is what they were called, the radical group. So weird, but then, Emil was coming to find that so many things were weird in this place. She hated all the songs that came from the Nazi. Hated the flag, the uniforms, the people under it, and the leader. She hated it so much, but it went farther back than the void. She had hated them before the mind-numbing void. She just did not really know all of the _why._ She just did. She was sure that she was not the only one in the whole country that hated the Nazi, but she only knew four humans so she could not be sure of anything. Something told her that the Nazi and this new war was as wrong as her creating if not worse.

Fa flew around her lazily, distracting her again from something deep that she might not have gotten out of for a while. Emil ignored the rest of the songs and cheers the people were throwing. She pitied them, but she could not place why. Maybe Fa would know. She turned to Fa, waiting for it to explain to her.

'I do not think I can answer any of your questions, Yew.'

"Sephtis." Fa paused in her swirling before continuing.

'Sephtis?'

"I want to be called Sephtis. Or Emil, but not Yew." Emil scrunched up her nose a little and frowned lightly.

'I do not think that Sephtis is right for you.'

"It feels right, though. Yew feels like someone else's name. Or title, but not mine." There was a long pause before Fa spoke to her again.

'Yew is for the life breather. Sephtis is for the soul collector. You breathe life, you are Yew.' So that was why they called her Yew. Emil sighed as she started to feel frustrated. There was not much that was important to her at the moment, but being called Yew was something that really needed to go. She refused to think of herself as Yew. Emil Nimitz was much better than Yew. Yew made something in her chest constrict. It made her soul ache, or what was left of it.

"Bitte. Just call me Emil if you cannot call me Sephtis, but I am telling you that Sephtis feels right. Natural." She really needed to correct Fa before she got distracted again.

'Emil, then.' Emil smiled softly in victory. . Fa swirled around her slowly as another wisp came to Emil. This one was just as transparent as Fa, but it was orange and had no real definite figure. She had called it Des when she had met it.

'Yew, I think you need some sleep.' Des swirled around her fast.

'It is Emil now, Des.' Fa circled around with Des. Emile watched for a moment, forgetting what she was doing by the window in the first place.

"I am not tired," she whispered to Des. She had slept two days ago. She was perfectly fine for a while, as she had done far more staying awake in the void.

'You are," Des said softly back to her. 'Your mind just does not register it.'

"Bitte, Des. I am fine. My mind is fine." Emil walked over to her bed anyway as she spoke in her soft tones. She was cold anyway.

'Sleep like a human, Emil. At least for now." Emil frowned slightly as she slipped into her bed and under the covers. It was getting really cold, outside and in her attic.

"Why?" She hazily looked at Des and Fa as they swirled around each other. Her thoughts slowed down, but it did not help. She was always thinking. Always trying to keep aware of what was around her. Who knew when she was going to go back into the void?

'The world will be here when you wake up. Your mind will clear some, Emil." Maybe that was why she needed to do the things humans did. It helped her.

"Versprechen?" Emil looked at Des and Fa before focusing on Des. Her eyes were really heavy, now that she thought about it. Was that what told her that she was tired?

'I promise.' Emil was still for a couple minutes, before she felt her head nodding on its own accord. She looked up at Fa and Des twirling around each other as her eyes slid closed. It was so much like the void, -sleeping was- yet it was so different. It was nice. Safe most of the time, but something always happened. That was the major difference from it and the void. One she appreciated. So very much.

* * *

Emil had spent the next couple months taking care of herself and doing chores around the house to keep Tante happy when she came back- if she came back. It was September already and Tante was still not back. The food in the kitchen was all gone and Emil had been forced to grow her own for a while now. The house was clean, as Emil had the duty of keeping it that way when Tante was not there and sometimes when she was. Fa and Des were telling her things that they had found out about this world. Things that she would not have know as she was always in the house, like what was going on around Germany with the war or how humans were supposed to act.

The life-creatures had finally convinced her to create an animal. She had barely been creating food as it was, and with only the thought of need. Tomorrow she was going to try her hand at making a small animal with the help of Fa and Des. They had said that they were only going to give her vague help as they did not really know how to do it themselves, but they would try their best. It made her feel a bit better, though she would not tell the two. She woke up the next morning, she went down and into the rest of the house to make sure that she done all of the cleaning for the week before she went back into her attic.

'I think that all you do is just want it really bad, like how you do with with the food except you think of an animal instead.' Des was swirling around in the air a few feet from her with Fa as they spoke to her. Emil just nodded to them quietly and looked at her hands and then the creatures all around her. She closed her eyes and felt inward. She tried to go deep, deep within to her source. It felt like an eternity before she noticed a change in the black and saw her core. Once she felt it and saw the glittering mist, she emerged herself in it and let instincts take over. The instincts that begged to create, and not the ones that said that this was wrong and begged her to stop this nonsense. The second one was ignored- though it did not go without a fight. She was almost exhausted by the time she fought down the feeling of wrongness at creating, but she continued on.

She kept her eyes closed as she pressed her hands together and forced substance into her palms. She moved her hands around it, shaped it, and smoothed along the surface before she was happy with what she felt. She then imagined it to feel slippery and smooth, to feel soft and flexible. Then she forced the image to apply to what she had shaped. She opened her eyes to see something that looked like Fa, but felt alive and just like what Emil imagined a stingray would feel like. It was the size of her head and beautiful. It was alive, but not really. It had all of the qualities and feel of being alive, but Emil felt like it did not own an inner source or a mind yet.

She frowned softly before looking at the Life-creatures in front of her, and then struck out her hand to gently guide one to her. She pushed it into her chest and to her core, before she closed her eyes and brought up the creature she made to her lips. With a feeling of euphoria she felt so often when she made life, Emil breathed out the life-creature out of her core and into her creation. She was left breathless when she opened her eyes to look at the now fully capable and alive creature. It had a mind, and looked around. She let a few tears from the feeling of seeing and creating it, and smiled down at the , she heard something crash behind her and a sharp intake of breath. When she turned around, she saw Tante.

"Du…." Tante opened and closed her mouth like a fish as Emil grew more and more tense. Why was Tante back the day she decides to make life? Tante came to her within the next second and punched Emil before she looked around and grabbed a sharp piece of wood out of the many that was on the floor. Tante stabbed it into the creature that Emil had just made before she hit Emil with it again and again. Tante let the wood fall to the floor in the next instance.

"You abomination!" Tante scowled at Emil as her face burned red with rage. Tante picked up a purse that she had let crash with the floor earlier and quickly got out of the attic, slamming the door and locking it loudly. Emil looked on silently, not feeling anything. She was in too much shock to do anything but be still where she was at on the floor. There was screaming and crashes down and in the main floor of the house. Emil finally put the dead creature down on the floor an hour later when the violence stopped. She looked on numbly at the blood that pooled on the floor. She felt her eyes well up with water and then drip down her face.

It was silent for once in her attic. The life-creatures were all quiet for once and not even a hallucination came to her. Emil stayed there for a few more hours before she got up and numbly crawled into bed. Her room in the attic was locked away from the rest of the house. Tante never came back to unlock it, in fact, Tante was not even back into the house until a few days later with what sounded like a man. Emil had listened in her bed as disgusting noises filled the silence through a vent that connected to the rest of the house. She cried silently on and off, trying not to look at the dead carcass on her floor. It was a mystery to her why it upset her so much, but it did and it hurt.

Tante never came to unlock her attic door, until it was winter again. Emil had to fend for herself, find a way to get food and water. When she grew desperate enough to live food grew and water came, but it was only when she was not in shock or felt empty. It meant that she did not eat regular or take care of herself much. She was too skinny and malnutritioned and was in need of a shower by the time her door opened for the first time in a while. Whatever Emil had thought would happen- or if she had simply given up hope that it would open at all again- was quickly stopped. There were two men with Tante.

Emil felt her breathing pick up slightly. She was being taken away, just as Tante had threatened a while ago. She was still confused, unsure of everything, and could feel a deep seed of wrongness off of these men. It felt terrible. She had felt the wrongness that came from these men and the group they were in, but up close it was much worse.. She was just finding out that the wrongness was much more than just them. It seemed to be spread all over the world and deep within it, but she only knew that from what her life-creatures told to her and probably from experience soon.

"The freak was hiding in my attic this whole time! Bitte, nehmen sie von mir weg! I do not want an unerwünscht." What? She was kept locked up here all along for something that could have been said months ago? Why did it take Tante so long to finally face her? Large men in uniforms were grabbing harshly on Emil's arms. They were bruising her, she was sure. Tante had finally had enough of her. It was almost funny in a hysterical kind of way. All she had to do was create a small life form, an animal for the first time, with Tante watching- without Emil really knowing- and she was deemed an abomination and carried away. She had been deemed uncorrectable by Tante as it would appear, but it still left the question of why Tante would wait so long to deem her this far gone.

She was dragged past the corpse of her creation, past the door to her room in the attic, down stairs and through hallways, past rooms and finally out of the front door. She had not really been out of the house for many reasons, and was wishing that she could go back into her attic once more. She hated Tante and did not like being there, but it was all she knew. She should be glad that she was not killed, instead being gathered up with what looked like a few more people, but she was not grateful at all. Death seemed to be a more familiar and happy thought, whereas being forced into this situation was new and scary.

"Vielen Dank für den Hinweis auf diese Frau." Tante talked more with one of the men while the other dragged Emil along with a small group of people that looked forlorn. She was still working on her Deutsch, so Emil did not understand all of what was being said, but she had an idea from the body language and tone. She did not want to think about it at all. She had been doing so well with not showing anyone anything, and Tante just had to see her finally create her first life that was for one of the life-creatures. Tante was really good at lying as well, Emil found out. She made an elaborate excuse and charmed her way with the two men that came to take her away. Emil wished she was in the safety of the attic, of being alone. She had no idea what was going to happen nor did she know what she was going to do. It was making her nervous. She was starting to feel fear, especially after she felt the wrongness start to pore into her full force.

* * *

Emil was walking beside an older woman in her thirties. Tante had gotten tired of her, so she told a man in a uniform that she was an unwanted hiding in her attic. That had been almost two years ago. A couple more months and it really would be two years. Emil was eight now, going to be nine if she survived until November. She had been put into a crowded area for the past year, where all the unwanted went before being shipped off to a camp. It had taken a lot in her to stop talking out loud like she used to or to ignore the things that were not seen by anyone but her. The woman beside her had her two children die of starvation just before Emil came to the cramped living arrangement. Emil calls her Frau Ann, as the woman had suggested. Frau Ann had taken her in, helped Emil survive in her new 'home'. Frau Ann had made her lie about her age, telling her that children under ten did not survive long. She was the one to help her look older, more healthy and fit, and now she was holding on to her. They were walking with so many others to wherever the men in uniforms were kept silent, knowing that this was serious to everyone. She had seen a couple of bodies alongside the road. Some of those people had many small holes in them.

They were lead onto a train that had no seats and crammed everyone close. It was hot, disgusting, and painful on the train ride. Emil clung to Frau Ann, not liking how everything was turning out. Tante had made good on her threat, and Emil has hated every moment of it. She missed her attic, her solitude, and freedom to do as she pleased. She never dared to talk to Fa or Des around anyone. The hallucinations were fully ignored and Emil tried her best to hide her magic- a word she found fit the things she was able to do. Frau Ann had told her the rumors of what was done with those with special _qualities_ in the camps. Frau Ann told her everything that she dared to tell an eight year old about what was happening, as well as school her in subjects she deemed important.

There was almost no room to move around in the train's box. There was only one small window in the compartment, that Emil and Frau Ann had been pushed up near when they moved into the train cart thankfully, and when the door had slid closed and trapped her in with so many people Emil had found herself even more thankful for the window. It turned hot very fast, which was not surprising seeing as it was Juni -June- and she was surrounded by warm bodies, and grew suffocating almost to Emil as time passed in the train. The only thing that help was that she was by the only window and thus allowed more circulation near her. Night and day passed by slowly in the train. There was no stop to let them out and stretch, no person to give any of them food or water, nor was there any person to come and take away any of the bodies from the recently deceased. There was so little ventilation that the people furthest from the window died. Add to that the lack of food and water completely and being at the mercy of anything like sickness, and the numbers were growing in dead. Five days. That was how long they were in the train.

Emil was wary of what was to come, finally getting an idea on why she had hated the Nazi group a few years earlier. If the camps were worse than the crowded living space she had just been at, then the future was not looking very pretty. Everything was getting progressively worse. First the cramped living area- ghetto is what Frau Ann had once said- then the train and the camp that they were being lead to was almost expected to be worse. When the train stopped- finally stopped- everyone was forced out and forward by the men in uniforms. All of the unwanted walked in one deformed line until they got to a point where everyone was sorted through. The very young, old, and anyone that did not look very well was sorted onto one side while everyone was sorted to another. Emil was hidden very well by Frau Ann, and was thankful that she got to stay with the woman. Then, they were sorted again. Women on one side and men on another.

No one had anything, as they had been forced to leave all possessions behind before boarding the train, but the clothes on their backs. They were coldly ordered around by the men in uniforms and pushed around. Emil had to strip and change into what looked like rags. She had her medium hair shaved off to nothing, and a tattoo placed on her left forearm. It had hurt, so bad. Still did. When Emil looked around through her tears, she saw that all of the women were getting the same things as her happen to them. She shook slightly as she saw Frau Ann and grabbed hold of her, not daring to let go again. Now that she was at a camp meant for undesirables, she understood why it was meant to be taken as a very serious threat. The wrongness the she had been feeling more and more, was so strong here that it was choking Emil. How no one noticed, was beyond her.

She could feel small tremors rack through her arms and legs. There was a terrible smell that hung in the air, and stung her eyes. It made her want to throw up and curl in a ball and cry. Something was tugging at her soul and making her feel a force weigh down on her, pushing her with a force of something that she had not felt before. She looked down at her left arm with wide eyes and read the numbers that will from now on be forever embedded into her skin. Numbers that held so much significance in that instance than in any other:

 _ **71403**_


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry..I am having writers block with this, but I am not forgetting it. School also started and I am distracted with many things...I can never focus.**

 **New summery:** **Kyle died. Simple as that. Sure he missed Rhea, but he could not really go and see her again now can her? Especially not after being reborn into a different world. The universe is mixed up and right now, he could care less. He is a girl now, there is magic, and WW2 is happening. The worst of it all is that right in the middle- is him.**

* * *

Emil did not want to think about the camp. She did not want to think back for even a minute. If she did not live in the present, then she might join some of the other girls that voluntarily got shot. She learned what the horrible smell was when she first arrived at the camp, but she did not want to talk about it. Just barely touching the memory of it made her want to throw up and remain in the void. All she wanted to do was keep standing straight in her roll call line, and not think about anything that was going to happen or had happened. She had lost track of time, and did not want to try and chase it anymore.

After roll call, the bodies that were lying around were taken away. What was new today, was that the guards were going to let them take a shower for the first time. Usually they went to breakfast after role call; it was really not that much of a meal, but it was something. Emil refused to grow anything herself with so many around her and after what happened last time she was caught making life. She needed to stop thinking, Frau Ann was walking beside Emil to the shower slowly. They both were skeletons by this point, though they were more fat than most of those alongside them. Frau Ann was all that kept Emil from joining the girls that gave up. She kept her mind occupied from dangerous thoughts, horrible hunger, and painful days. Emil would not last in the camp without Frau Ann.

As she walked on with many others, they finally reached what was assumed to be the shower. Emil clung onto Frau Ann as they were shoved into the changing area and told to take everything off. Emil did not waste any time and did as they said, not wanting to face any punishment. They were then told to go into the showering area, everyone at once. It was cramped and reminded Emil of the train ride to the camp so long ago, before she shut it out. There was no airflow in the room. No window or anything really. Emil suddenly felt something cold settle into her stomach as everyone was crammed into the room, leaving her feeling slightly claustrophobic. It was not long before the only door that lead into the room was closed and sealed. She was feeling nauseated and frozen over as she saw heard the door shut tight, and the quiet voices of those around her echo in the room.

It was not long before there was no light in the chamber. People started to get tense. Within minutes Emil started to feel something creep into her lungs, taking away her oxygen and strangling her. Before to long, people started to struggle and push others out of the way to head to where they knew was the door. The weaker, younger, and older were all shoved to the floor in the haste of others. There was people shouting and crying, snapping, bodies thrown out of the way. Someone had pushed Emil to the floor, and Frau Ann was the last thing on her mind. She felt people crawl over her to get their way to the only exit. She was going to die. She was bloodied and could not breathe.

"Hilfe!"

"Öffnen Sie diese Tür!"

There was so much happening. They were all going to die. Emil did not want to die though, and the life-creatures that were always around her were screaming at her to get out. There was so much noise that it was hard to think anymore. There was a passing thought of feeling like she had been suffocated before, but that left as she went into deep seeded panic. She did not have long to live, but she needed to. She had to. She was seconds away from dying, from blood loss, broken bones, and no oxygen before she cried and strongly wished and pulled at _anything_ to make it stop and to get her out of there. Before she knew what was going on, there was a loud **crack** and then there was air and light all around her. She breathed and breathed, crying all the while loudly. Her body was shaking and did not look like it was going to stop anytime soon. It was too much. It was all too much. With an exhausted breathe, Emil became unconscious.

"Wir haben Glück. To find another Magie so soon. Holen Sie ihm, dass seine Anwesenheit wird innerhalb eines Monats erforderlich." It was so hard to focus on the Deutsch being spoken. Her lungs and throat hurt. Her head was pounding and her limbs were killing her. Her mind was blank from the pain and refused to start up again. What was happening?

"Jawohl!" Her eyes refused to open, but she did not really want to open them in the first place. She finally gave up and decided to go deep within herself. To her core. It still felt fractured and pained at times, but she was getting over it. She was getting better. She could feel that a large piece was missing, she would never forget, but she was getting used to it. She wrapped herself around her core. She could not feel the pain from her body here. It was a relief to get away from all of the confusion and pain.

She did not know how long she stayed like that, content. Time was long deemed unimportant, but she knew that she could not stay like this for much longer. It was almost impossible to convince herself to leave, though. It was a long time before she could, and when she did leave she almost went right back. Pain was what met her, dull pain all over her body. She quietly opened her eyes to look out into a dimly lit room. She seemed to be on an old bed, but it was better than before…

What happened before? She started to think, twisting her face into concentration. She was somewhere dark and...and...She was Emil. She had been taken to a 'shower' with the rest of her group. Frau Ann. What happened to her? Emil started to shake. Water pooled into her eyes as they widened, before slipping down the side of her face.

"Nein, bitte," she barely spoke out as her throat clenched up painfully. She was frozen in her spot, not willing to move or make it real. Those 'showers' were not meant to wash people. They were...Emil let a choked sob escape her. She felt the **wrongness** that had been plaguing her since she was forced away from Tante, weigh down on her chest heavily. She forgot to breathe, refused to breathe. It was so much, so so much.

'Emil! Emil! Calm down.' Who was that? What was happening? 'Emil! It is me, Fa. Des is here as well.' Fa? Des? There were creatures floating and swimming around her, two in particular were near her face. What?

'You're fine, Emil.' But Frau Ann was not, and neither were anyone else. Bodies were burning, being gassed, starved, worked, so many things were happening. It was so wrong. It hurt her core; it weighed down on her, pushing her so far beneath. This was so wrong. So wrong. So wrong. Too wrong. Wrong. _Wrong._ **Wrong.**

'Emil! Come on, come back to us. Focus on me. Focus, come on. I know you can do it.' There was that voice again. It was from… Who was it from? She started to hyperventilate. She knew who it was from! Why could she not remember!

'Emil. You need to calm down. Do not worry about anything but my voice. Focus on my voice.' That voice. Just the voice. Nothing else, but the voice. Emil's breathing started to calm down. Her mind blanked, but tears continued to fall down. Just stay calm. Do not think.

'There you go. Easy breathes. Just focus on what I am saying.' Emil opened her eyes after blinking out some of the tears and looked at the glowing thing that was floating around her. It was calming and familiar. 'Focus on me.' It was talking to her. It was safe and familiar. Emil started to calm down to only sniffle and slight shivering. She pushed back the feeling of wrongness.

'That's it! Keep doing what you are doing, Emil!' F...a? It was Fa...or Des, but she knew it. Slowly she allowed herself to think about what had happened. She had been in a 'shower'. She had been suffocating and slowly dieing with many others. She did something. She got out. She lived. Emil did not let herself think of anything else but those facts. What was happening? Had she been dreaming that she was in the 'shower'? Was it another hallucination? It had been a while since she had had a hallucination like that before. Was Frau Ann just apart of it or was she real and still alive?

"War es wirklich?" Emil forgot for a minute what she was saying, she was just staring detachedly at one of the walls in what seemed to be a small room. Creatures were floating all around the room, and it took her a minute to remember that they were the life-creatures. Her constant companions. They were not hallucinations. Were they? No, they were not. Her mind struggled for a while to convince herself that all of it was not another hallucination. It was not. Everything was real. The only question was, what was not? It did not make sense to her, but it did. She just barely made it out of her mind. Her breathing was harsh and her eyes were unfocused. It was a long time before she responded to Fa and Des; she was just having a hard time pulling herself out of her mind. She did not want to get out of it, but she had to.

"Was-" Emil swallowed, trying to wet her dry throat. "Where am I?" Des looked relieved to see that she could speak now, even sighing. Fa seemed to purr a little as it twirled near her head.

'You were taken.' Emil frowned her brows lightly at nothing.

"What do you mean, exactly?" Her throat hurt and the dryness made it hard to take, but Emil still did it anyway. She watched Fa as her eyes seemed to go a little distant.

'You had somehow gotten out of the shower trap and were taken by some men to a facility. They put you into this room before talking and going off. We have not seen them for a while. Maybe a week, but a woman comes in to feed you water and a broth once every two days it seems.' Emil remained quiet. Her mind was blank and her throat hurt as it clenched. Her eyes remained on Fa, distant and becoming more wet as time passed on.

"Bitte…" Her voice was cracked and barely heard. Her vision blurred before tears leaked down the side of her face. She Forcibly kept herself out of her own mind. She could not go back in...but it was hard. She wanted to scream. Shout. Disappear. Be nothing…

'Emil...Please stay with us.' Fa came close to her face while Des lazily floated a foot above her. She could not stop the tears from flowing, but she could force herself to stay out of her mind.

"I...am. I'm not..going back...in." Emil evened out her breathing as she continued to watch Fa and Des. It was not long before she fell back asleep from all the stress, anyway. Des and Fa left her like that, with them circling above her in protection.


End file.
